As you all know, I am no stranger to blogging. I have had a Xanga account since about 2004 I think, and have faithfully updated it over the last 4 years. I feel like my xanga blog is such a great record of the last 4 years of my life, and I intend on keeping it forever. To me that blog represents my life with Adam, and my life since Adam. I started it when we were happily married and continued it through the hardest days of my life, while Adam was sick, writing to keep everyone updated on his progress and to release some of the stress I was feeling at the time.
Keeping that blog has been more difficult since Adam died. I got all sorts of weird feedback. The people that really cared continued to follow my life and cheer me on, and the people that didn't care as much really judged me by what i was writing and the pictures I was putting on there, assuming all sorts of horrible and untrue things about me. I didn't like the "fishbowl" feeling I got having that blog after Adam died, knowing that there were countless people I didn't even know checking that site and following my life. Over the past 2 and a half years I have gotten really careful about my blogs, only putting certain pictures up, worrying what some people would think, knowing that people would judge and not understand me and my choices. You all know what a long and difficult road it's been for me.
And that leads me to now.
Here I am, nearly 3 years since Adam died, and doing so much better than I ever thought I would be. I am newly engaged and I'm so happy and so in love I feel like it's time for a new beginning in so many ways. Because i so strongly feel that my xanga page is a tribute to Adam and to my life with him, I feel like it's only fair to start a new blog to celebrate my new life with Rick. I am going to try my hardest to NOT worry about the judgement, NOT worry about the fishbowl feeling and DO try and remember that I have so many people out there that love me and support me to the end. This engagement has reiterated over and over again something that I already know to the depths of my soul: I have unending love and support from the best friends and family in the world. How did I get so lucky?
So I am excited to introduce my new blog to you, and I am looking forward to giving you wedding updates and what Rick and I have going on in our life. We are so happy and we're happy to share our happiness with you. So keep checking in with us and I'll do my best to keep you all updated. Thanks again to you all for your love and support. I couldn't ask for a better life.
9 comments:
Bienvenida a Blogger. hay que poner muchas fotos para que estemos informados. Jay
I totally understand the "fishbowl" feeling. Fooey on those judgmentalists. I am so excited for this new chapter in your life. I wish you and Rick all the happiness and joy in the world-you deserve it!
I love it Lo! I think its a perfect idea and wonderful way to keep Adam's memory. And Blogger is better than xanga :)!! Love you!
Yay now I can keep up! I'd lost your old blog address anyway so I'm glad you're starting a new one. Blogging is therapeutic so I hope you can find your way back to an uninhibited blogging experience! I'm always so inspired by you. Good luck and I'll keep checking in.
Do you feel like I'm stalking you? Really I'm not, I am just so happy for you and want to keep up to date on all the wonderful things is your life. Hopefully next time I'm in Portland we can get together with Lambert or something.
-Tiffany (Hole)
Ah, sweet cousin, we just couldn't be any happier for you and Rick. Just a quick comment about those judgementalists... I've learned that being judgemental says much more about the one doing the judging than it does about the one being judged. So don't you worry, sweetheart. Mike, Ryan, Sophie and I love you lots. You have our full, unadulterated support!! I just wish we lived closer so we could give you full, unadulterated congratulatory hugs!!
Lauren, so excited for you! Congrats on the engagement. Welcome to blogmania. Ashley
Hey Lauren, I found you through Shellee's blog...and found your Xanga site last year through Jessi Dixon (oh..the cobweb of blogs) I just want to say that after reading back on some of your posts on Xanga when you were going through the horrific loss of your first husband that I was incredibly inspired by your attitude and spirit. You seemed to be so hopeful, committed, positive and 100% supportive of him during that time. I just want to commend you on that. I can not imagine going through all that you have. I am truly happy for your new beginning at life and hope you don't mind me peeking in on you from time to time. I have recently made my blog private due to the "fishbowl" feeling I was getting with God only knows who looking at my blog but if you have any interest at all in seeing my blog email me at faith.hardin@gmail.com and I'd love to "invite" you to view it. I always enjoyed your company in high school..especially in Spanish class..remember Mrs. Young? I saw her the other day at the grocery store..anyway..that was random! I am truly happy for you! Take care!
Lauren, congratulations on your engagement! I am so happy for you. You are an inspiration, I would not have made through what you have. And I agree with queenamb...Fooey on the judgements, your happiness is most important! Congratulations!
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